Precious Babes

I had a little scare today. I took Ethan in his room for a nap this afternoon and when I came out, Kaitlin was gone. First, I looked in all her usual "hiding" spots; calling her name and expecting to hear a little giggle or "here I am." When I didn't find her in her usual spots I started searching elsewhere. I checked the back door. I checked the piano room and it's closet and bathroom. I was really starting to get worried. Should I call someone? What do I do? As I was leaving the piano room I noticed the door knob cover on the floor by the front door. The door was unlocked. I ran outside, with no shoes on, and called for Kaitlin. She said "here I am" and grinned up at me from the swing on the side of the porch. I was so relieved and so mad at her at the same time. I knew I shouldn't really let her swing, she needed to be punished, but I was so happy that she was OK, that I didn't really care about punishing her. I gave her a big hug and reminded her that she must always ask permission before going outside. And then I pushed her in the swing.

Ironic that this should happen on the same day that Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murdering her precious little girl. I haven't really followed the trial, but I have thought she was guilty from the beginning. To not report your child missing for thirty days? That is suspicious! All of this little episode at my house happened in a time span of about 10 minutes or less and I had already thought about calling the police. Yes, my children frustrate me, irritate me, and make me mad. Yes, I would like to have more time to do the things that I want to do. Yes, it would be nice to not have to coordinate schedules with my husband all the time to make sure the kids are taken care of. Yes, it would be nice to be able to just hop in the car and run to the store without worrying about nap schedules, snacks, drinks, diapers, going pee pee on the potty, and fastening car seats. But I would never dream of hurting them. They are my heart. They are precious. I'm doing my best to love them, take care of them and teach them. And if anything were to happen to either of my kids on my watch, I don't know that I would ever be able to forgive myself.

Message to Heaven

Whenever Kaitlin sees balloons in the sky, she always says they are going to heaven. She often asks if she can hold on to a balloon and go up to heaven to visit Harley. I do my best to explain that she can't visit heaven so instead, we send messages to Harley via balloon. Kaitlin colored a picture and I transcribed her message to Harley on the back. We were quite sad thinking about Harley and talking about him. He was such a great dog! Kaitlin just adored him from day 1 and she is always asking when we are going to get a new dog. She always wants to pet the dogs we see when we are out and wants them to lick her hands like Harley did. She is going to be so excited when we bring home our new puppy!

Focused Moms Challenge - Week 3 Results

Well, I have not done a very good job of "unplugging" this week! The challenge this week was to unplug our kids. A couple of ways of doing this might be to limit the amount of "screen time" your child gets or designate a "screen-free" time each day. I already try to limit Kaitlin's TV time to about 2 hours a day, but I thought it would probably be good to have a screen-free time as well. I decided that we would have our screen-free time in the morning - no TV until after lunch. This works out really well because the kids are in school two mornings a week. Plus, my 3-year-old doesn't nap anymore, so I often use TV as downtime for her in the afternoon. This week we had Easter Egg Hunts on Wednesday and Friday mornings so we were too busy for TV anyway. I thought we were doing great until Friday morning when I realized that Kaitlin had been playing games on my iPhone for a half hour. I didn't think anything of it at first and then realized that is also screen time! Oops!

I also didn't really limit TV time as much this week as I normally do. Mainly because I have been making a smocked bishop dress for Kaitlin and was trying to get it done before Easter. I really had no idea what a long process it would be. It seems like everytime I think I am close to finishing, I realize something else that needs to be done before I can move on to the next step. It has been very frustrating and I'm pretty sure I'll never make another one! Although I will have the dress ready for Easter, it's looking like Kaitlin won't even be going to church. She woke up coughing this morning and had thrown up in her bed in the night. Poor thing didn't even realize she had done that. This afternoon, she developed a fever. I guess maybe God is trying to send me a message to slow down and not worry so much about material things, like having the perfect dress for Easter.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people whose child has to be dressed to the nines for church or have the most beautiful dress on Easter Sunday. I do usually do buy a nice dress for Easter for Kaitlin because that is something I remember doing as a kid and I liked it. I always felt special and beautiful in my new dress. This year, I just happened to take a smocking class in March where I started the dress and thought it would be nice to get the dress finished for Easter. I do think that I may have gotten a little obsessed with it though! All in all it was a pretty good week. I hit a bit of a slump towards the end of the week, but I'm pulling myself out of it.

Focused Moms Challenge - Week 2

Well, I did OK this week. Polly from ChildPsychMom.com put a few wallet size pictures of the Crosswalk Safety Sign in my mailbox, so I immediately put two of them on my computer. One is on the outside of my laptop so that I can see it when the laptop is closed. The other is taped on the top of the screen. I really wanted to put it next to the keyboard out of the way, but I knew I wouldn't see it as easily there. It was very difficult to find a "good" spot for it. If I were to put it on the left of the screen, it covers up the box where you type in a web address as well as the google search bar. In the middle, it covers the camera and Internet Explorer tabs. On the right side of the screen, it covers the little "x" to close a window as well as my favorites. I ended up putting it on the top left of the screen and yes, it covers up the box where you type in a web page. It is very annoying, but I always see it and that is the important thing. I had one more picture so I asked my husband if there was anywhere else he thought I should put it, and he couldn't think of anywhere. Kaitlin has now lost it.

Our new challenge for this week was to "unplug" by setting up some restrictions for ourselves regarding our distractions. Polly had a very ambitious goal of not using her distraction anytime her kids are around. Since I am a stay-at-home mom and my kids only go to school two days a week, I didn't really feel like that was going to work for me. I decided to try to limit myself to checking the computer three times a day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and once after the kids go to bed. I try to close the computer when I'm not using it and that reminds me that I need to wait. My youngest still naps so I try to check when he is napping and Kaitlin is occupied with something, usually TV. I did decide that I will only put on a show if she asks for it, and not just so I can get on the computer! I also put a pad of paper and a pen next to the computer so that I can write down anything I want to do on the computer.

I did pretty well following these restrictions. I even got to our small group Wednesday night and did not know a couple pieces of information that had been sent out late in the afternoon via e-mail. Good thing they weren't super important! My in-laws were in town at the end of the week so it was a little easier to get away from the kids because they were having so much fun with MomMom and PopPop! I even got some major housework done!

Tomorrow starts Week 3 of the Focused Moms Challenge. If you haven't already joined, head on over to ChildPsychMom.com to check it out! I'm looking forward to seeing what the challenge is for the coming week.

In A Minute...

I just remembered something else I wanted to post about week one. I've noticed lately that Kaitlin frequently tells me "in a minute" or "I'm doing something right now" when I ask her to do something. It drives me crazy!! This week, I realized that she says that to me because I say it to her..a lot! Why do I think that the things I'm doing are so much more important than what she is doing? And why should she stop what she's doing to do what I want her to do when I don't do that for her? Maybe scribbling on a piece of paper or filling up a box with "surprises" doesn't seem productive to me, but to a three-year-old that is learning. Playing is her job right now just like keeping up the house is mine and I need to respect that. That doesn't mean I should have to ask five times for her to do something, but maybe I could respect her job a little bit more and be a bit more patient with her when she is doing something.

Week One Results

Well, I never did put up any pictures to remind me of the Focused Moms Challenge. I was doing so well at the beginning of the week that I didn't think it would really be necessary. I fell off a little towards the end of the week, mainly because Kaitlin wasn't feeling well and so she took a couple naps and watched a lot of TV. It's so easy to gravitate towards the computer when she is watching a show or movie because she gets totally involved in whatever she is watching. Occasionally she will ask for a snack or ask me to pause the movie if she needs a potty break, but it's pretty much uninterupted me-time. I should be using that time to get other things done so that I can spend time with her when the show is over.

A couple of things that I was reminded of this week:

- Kaitlin gets in less trouble when I spend time with her. She is not as bored and doesn't need to do anything negative to get my attention.

- I feel better when I am productive. When I spend time doing things around the house, I do not feel guilty for not taking care of my family and home.

- I am in a better mood when I spend time with actual people. When I spend time with my kids instead of on facebook, I am happier. Face to face interaction is still the best way to build relationships with people and to feel fulfilled. Plus, when I check facebook every 30 minutes and get upset that I don't have any notifications, I start to feel depressed. If I check less frequently and have notifications, it's more fun :)


- Ethan doesn't cry as much when I am not on the computer. My little man needs attention from his Mommy. He is only one. He does enjoy playing by himself sometimes, but he can't do that all day. He needs smiles and tickles and encouragement.

- When I am not distracted by the computer, I am distracted by other things. Emptying the dishwasher, doing laundry, cooking, and smocking are among them. This is a tough one because most of these are things that need to be done. I guess the challenge is trying to balance those things.

- When I am busy, I don't eat as much. And I probably burn more calories than I would sitting at the computer. I have been struggling to lose weight since Ethan was born. Now that he is done nursing, it is time.

If you haven't joined the Focused Moms Challenge, it's not too late! Head over to ChildPsychMom.com and check it out.

The Focused Moms Challenge

So, I've decided to participate in The Focused Moms Challenge over at ChildPsychMom.com. Why am I doing this? Well, I'm distracted. I'm distracted from my children during the day and I'm distracted from doing the things I need to do to take care of my family, such as laundry, cleaning, and taking care of myself. I know those things aren't as important as spending time with my children, but they are important to our family and my marriage!

What are the things that distract me? Mostly, the computer. I know, I know, I'm blogging about how the computer is a distraction, but I'm hoping that blogging about the challenge will help me stay accountable. I spend way too much time on facebook, checking e-mail, and reading blogs. There are a couple of reasons that these things distract me. The first reason is that I really don't want to do housework. I hate cleaning. I hate doing laundry. And I hate emptying the dishwasher. The main reason that I think I let these things distract me is that I'm looking for a connection. I'm a stay-at-home mom so I don't really get a lot of adult interaction. So, I get some of that fulfilled through facebook.

I also don't really have close friends. The person I would still consider my best friend lives several states away and has a very different life than I do. I haven't seen her in years and the last time we talked on the phone, I commented that it had been a long time and she casually responded that she keeps up with what I'm doing on facebook. So, I think I am looking for friendships on facebook. I think, however, the connection that I'm really looking for (and need) can not be found on facebook. And that is a connection with God. I still believe in God and have faith in Him, but my personal relationship with God has really taken a backseat since I had children.

So, that's a little about me and why I'm participating in the Focused Moms Challenge. Step One for this week is to tell someone that you are doing this. Check! I think I will have to finish up Step Two tomorrow which is to place a reminder near your biggest distractions to remind you of the challenge. I still need to get my grocery list made so that I can make the most my kid-free time in the morning