Precious Babes

I had a little scare today. I took Ethan in his room for a nap this afternoon and when I came out, Kaitlin was gone. First, I looked in all her usual "hiding" spots; calling her name and expecting to hear a little giggle or "here I am." When I didn't find her in her usual spots I started searching elsewhere. I checked the back door. I checked the piano room and it's closet and bathroom. I was really starting to get worried. Should I call someone? What do I do? As I was leaving the piano room I noticed the door knob cover on the floor by the front door. The door was unlocked. I ran outside, with no shoes on, and called for Kaitlin. She said "here I am" and grinned up at me from the swing on the side of the porch. I was so relieved and so mad at her at the same time. I knew I shouldn't really let her swing, she needed to be punished, but I was so happy that she was OK, that I didn't really care about punishing her. I gave her a big hug and reminded her that she must always ask permission before going outside. And then I pushed her in the swing.

Ironic that this should happen on the same day that Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murdering her precious little girl. I haven't really followed the trial, but I have thought she was guilty from the beginning. To not report your child missing for thirty days? That is suspicious! All of this little episode at my house happened in a time span of about 10 minutes or less and I had already thought about calling the police. Yes, my children frustrate me, irritate me, and make me mad. Yes, I would like to have more time to do the things that I want to do. Yes, it would be nice to not have to coordinate schedules with my husband all the time to make sure the kids are taken care of. Yes, it would be nice to be able to just hop in the car and run to the store without worrying about nap schedules, snacks, drinks, diapers, going pee pee on the potty, and fastening car seats. But I would never dream of hurting them. They are my heart. They are precious. I'm doing my best to love them, take care of them and teach them. And if anything were to happen to either of my kids on my watch, I don't know that I would ever be able to forgive myself.