Finally!

Today, I took a garbage bag full of clothes and a shopping bag full of shoes that I don't wear anymore to the thrift store. They have been in my room for months just waiting to be put in the car. It felt good to finally get them out of here! I'm not really following FlyLady's system exactly, but she has definitely given me some good ideas and a little motivation! I'm trying to just focus on keeping the kitchen clean right now (starting small is one of FlyLady's suggestions). I've actually found that cleaning up in the kitchen motivates me to do other things as well. It's nice having clutter-free counter tops!

Inspiration

I've been following the story of a young woman named Katherine Wolf for a while now. I don't know her, but her story is so inspiring that I can't help but follow. About 9months ago, Katherine had an AVM rupture, which is sort of like a stroke, but different. Anyway, the doctors never expected her to recover at all and are amazed by the progress she has made. Despite her amazing recovery, Katherine still can not walk or eat. She can't even take care of her one year old son. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by the task of caring for a toddler, or frustrated because I'm trying to cook dinner and Kaitlin wants to be held, or worthless because as a stay at home mom I don't contribute to society; I remember Katherine who can't even pick her son up when he cries. She posted an entry on her Caring Bridge sight the other day expressing excitement that she was able to put James' jacket on him all by herself. I'm so lucky that I'm able to take care of my child and play with her and read books to her and chase her around the house when she doesn't want to put on her coat or have her diaper changed! I'm trying to just enjoy all of it instead of taking her for granted and getting frustrated.

If you'd like to learn more about Katherine, you can visit her Caring Bridge sight at this link: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/katherinewolf or visit her mom's blog, here: http://katherineawolf.blogspot.com/

Organization

Well, my resolution to get organized isn't exactly going as planned. I had hoped to have more done by now, but I really haven't accomplished anything. I did go through some kitchen cabinets the other day and get rid of some stuff, and the counters are clutter free for the moment, but that's about it. Well, we found out yesterday that my husband got tenure at Auburn, so I cleaned off the kitchen table and put up some decorations to celebrate. I was so motivated by the clean table this afternoon that I decided to visit the FlyLady web page and follow her day by day steps to get out of chaos. So, today I cleaned my sink! I did the shortcut version of FlyLady's instructions because I had on good clothes and didn't want to deal with bleach, but my sink is very clean and I'm hoping to keep it that way. Tomorrow I will try step 2!

So Simple

I was reading my daughter one of her favorite books the other day, Little One, God Made You, and it hit me that God's love really is simple. We seem to make it so complicated with all of our rules and worrying. Here are the words of the book:

"God made you to love you, little one.
There's no one like you, no, not one.
No one has your tiny nose or your wiggly, squiggly toes.
No one has your silly laugh when you splash in bubble baths.
When you're crawling or you're creeping, while you're skipping, while you're sleeping...
God made you to love you, little one."

God made us to love us and wants to be in relationship with us. That's it! It's so simple and yet so complicated at the same time. Why is it so hard to accept God's love and just live in it? We wouldn't have to worry, we wouldn't need to have rules. We really would be free!

Rockin' Running!

I discovered the joy of running to my iPod this morning. I trained for a half-marathon without ever running with music because the music on my iPod was all really boring for running. I finally downloaded some new tunes and got my awesome hubby to figure out why my music wasn't syncing properly and this morning I had a great run with my new music. My running playlist:

Let's Get it Started - Blackeyed Peas
Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson
Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield
Survivor - Destiny's Child
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Welcome to the Jungle - Guns N' Roses

My favorites were definitely "Let's Get it Started" and "Welcome to the Jungle." I was so pumped up that decided to run 4 miles instead of 3 on a route that used to kick my butt! It's been a while since I ran that particular route and it was good to see how much I've progressed since I first started training for the half-marathon. Yeah me!

Body Image

One question that has been nagging at me since my daughter was born is: "How do I teach her to love her body and see herself as beautiful?". I came across this article that reminded me of my concerns: 'Teaching kids what attractive really means.' Basically, the story talks about how important it is to model good body image to your kids. When I was reading this story, it actually brought tears to my eyes because I have never had a good body image that I can remember. I can't remember a time when I didn't obsess over my body. I'm sure there was a time before I hit puberty, but I don't remember it. The earliest memory I have of a peer saying something about my looks was in 7th grade. I was walking by myself outside the school and two boys passed by me. One of them was my neighbor (and yes, I remember his name). He looked at the other and said, "that's the girl you think has big'uns." I was mortified! If I hadn't already been self-conscious about my early developed and larger then average breasts, I would have been after hearing that! It clearly affected me if I remember all those details. I know I can't stop things like that from happening to Kaitlin; I just hope I can teach her to handle them well and to love herself and others no matter what they look like!

Anyway, having gotten back into some bad habits of emotional eating, I am reminded that Kaitlin is always watching and that I don't want to teach her the same bad habits I have developed. It's actually one of the reasons I finally started Weight Watchers. I was having such a hard time losing weight after she was born and I really needed some accountability. I didn't want to teach my poor self management to Kaitlin. While the structure and accountability of Weight Watchers really helped me manage my food intake and lose weight, I am seeing that I need to do some more work to manage my emotions so that I don't slip back into my old habits all the time.

A Good Day

Yesterday was a really good day; I actually felt productive! I'm having a hard time getting back on track. I never sat down and had a "quiet time" but I did have a few conversations with God throughout the day (which might actually be better). One of the main things I did, was to look to God when I wanted to eat. I recently lost 27pounds with Weight Watchers, but got off track over the holidays and gained a couple back. Since then, I'm having a hard time getting back in the Weight Watchers mode. Once I slip up, I get the attitude that I already messed up for the day (or the week), I can eat whatever I want. I really have seen my old habits of emotional eating emerging again and that is never a good thing. Honestly, instead of making me feel better, the eating makes me feel worse (and then I eat more). This change made a huge difference in my day. I wasn't feeling guilty and down on myself for eating and I was able to focus on getting some other things done. I went through my dresser drawers and sorted out the clothes in them -some too big, some to get ride of. Now you can almost see the top of the dresser! I have a few more little things to take care of today. I also gave the dog a bath and played with him a little bit. I wish I had waited; my husband was going to offer to pay me $100 to do it (he smelled really bad)!

Well, I need to go do some exercises and take a shower before the little one wakes up. I'm feeling really good about yesterday and I have a great feeling about today!